Oz Aksan-Aksano Catamarans

Irwin Jacobs- CEO of Genmar

Joe Bryant-President of Bryant Boats

Alan Jones-Boating World Magazine

Randy Vance-Boating Life Magazine

Jeffery Howland-Cape Horn Yachts

October 19, 1843

     I Christen Thee!

Years ago before Martha Stewart found herself behind bars, I seem to recall seeing her attempt to christen a small powerboat. I believe it was a Hinkley. I say attempt because she seemed to have a bit of a tough time. It's not like making a salad you know. Christenings weren't always so lackluster. No way. Back in the good old days hundreds of years ago, when men were men, this ceremony was conducted with the same importance as sacrificing a goat to the sun gods. Of course I'm referring to the days of the Roman Empire. They didn't use the traditional bottle of champagne but I'd be surprised if a goat was used. Christening is and always was a very important step in the life of a ship. The breaking of a bottle across the bow was thought to keep the ship and it's crew safe. Many times the vessel was named at this time as well. This form of christening harkens back to the British empire in the seventeenth century. The British were bored with the previous form of the ceremony. Can you blame them? Some important local official would drink wine from a large cup, pour some wine onto the deck and toss the cup overboard. They didn't have party size Dixie cups so they used fancy expensive cups. Soon the  environmental groups of the day decided this was a bad thing and had the rules changed so the cup would be removed from the water via a large net. Boring. Our thanks go out to the British. So the new format of breaking a bottle, usually wine, stuck around till prohibition. No Booze, no christening. Wrong. Being creative, Americans started to use water. However most historians believe it was tap water and not bottled spring water. When the booze embargo ended, the tradition of christening a ship using a bottle of champagne became standard procedure. So when it come time for you to christen your powerboat, keep these three things in mind: Leave Martha Stewart out of it and let her stick to making salads. Don't use a Dixie cup and throw it overboard and above all please don't sacrifice a goat

Red Sky At Night?

Red sky at night sailor's delight, Red sky in the morning, sailor take warning. I know, just another salty old saying whose merit is questionable at best. You've heard those boating phrases before. Stupid sayings created by sailors wishing they had power boats while sitting around waiting for some wind to come along? Perhaps. However there is an enormous amount of scientific data collected over the last 349 years that proves these basic forecasting tools to be as accurate, or inaccurate depending on your perspective, as many others. In theory weather patterns generally move from west to east. Since the sun sets in the west, it reflects off the poor weather systems that have already passed. As the sun rises in the east, it reflects off poor weather patterns moving in from the west. I'm not sure that mother nature has been informed about this behavior here in New England. None the less, next time you're boating offshore, keep that boating trivia in mind. Between you and me, I wouldn't write the Nation Weather Service off just yet!

You Were Born Where?

Finding the origins of many of the words and phrases used in our every day conversations always makes for some great boating trivia that can make you the life of the party.  We have all used the phrase "you son of a gun". Rough translation being a compliment. The other use of the phrase taking the form of "well I'll be a son of a gun". A lot of times this this version is muttered after you have spent the better part of a day trying to get your boat started only to find out you accidentally bumped the safety shut off switch. Of course you wouldn't be that polite but you get the idea. Well this snippet of boating trivia will probably keep you from using that phrase again. Millions of years ago before the world realized power boats were the only way to travel, gun decks on sailing ships were used for activities other than being the gun deck. Use your imagination. When the time came for a baby sailor to join the ranks, one of the few spots on the ship that could serve as a delivery room was, you guessed it, the gun deck. Remember that this was long ago and far away  which meant that DNA testing to determine the paternal responsibility wouldn't be developed for millions of years. The only viable option was to merely designate the baby "son of a gun". So the next time you do something stupid that requires that you reprimand yourself, go easy and use a different phrase to mutter under your breath

           When The Lightning Strikes

In recent boating news, an interesting bit of boating trivia has emerged. Men are  more likely to be hit by lightning than women. It also goes to follow that more men will die from lighting strikes than women. This is a bad thing. There are many theories that try to explain this phenomenon and being  curious type, I did some scientific research and came up with several theories of my own. Theory number one: Men are taller so we make better targets, right? To protect yourself in a storm, slouch. Theory number two: When men are out power boating, the fish are biting and you are trying out that fancy new graphite rod, ZAP! To protect yourself, switch to fiberglass during storms. Theory number three: Men are always given the chore of walking Fido during storms. To protect yourself, strap that graphite rod to Fido's head. Theory number three, which is the most likely but also the most controversial: Our brains operate by sending endless streams of electrical impulses that control every aspect of our bodies. Since the male brain activity is much higher than that of the female, scientific reasoning would allow that there are more electrical impulses which will obviously create a far better target for lighting to strike.To protect yourself, act stupid. This leads to theory upheld by most women. Men just don't have enough sense to come in out of the rain. If this is true, though highly unlikely, there

really is no way to protect yourself!!

                And The Survey Says?

The results of a recent survey prove that middle aged hairdressers who wear rayon and eat a diet rich in cabbage and lima beans are less likely to develop migraine headaches. In a month we will probably find out that middle aged hairdressers who wear rayon and eat a diet rich in cabbage and lima beans are actually a hundred times more likely to develop migraine headaches. No one is immune from this type of inquisition, including boaters. The findings of a recent study commissioned by the National Marine Manufacturers Association prove that boaters experience a higher quality of life than non boaters. I could have told you that. There wasn’t any bias despite the name of the organization. Really. Until another study can prove otherwise, there is no reason to doubt the validity of this one. Certainly the timing of this study couldn’t be better as the boating season in the Monadnock area kicks into high gear.

        Over 1,000 boaters and non boaters were chosen for the study. Is it any surprise that boaters scored higher in every category right across the board? Amazingly 67% of the boaters polled rated the overall quality of their lives to be excellent compared to a mere 56% of non-boaters. Boaters felt that their family life is higher in quality than their counterparts. Friendships tend to be stronger and more meaningful. Marriages are stronger and more loving. Boaters are happier and more content with their jobs. They enjoy better health and feel much more financially secure. And of course a substantial majority of boaters felt that they sleep better and feel well rested compared to non boaters. In a nutshell, we are happier and live better lives. Or at least that’s what the survey says.

        Most boaters claim their family life to be of a higher quality because of one simple reason: We’re never home! Of course we’re happier. The same goes for our marriages. If we aren’t home then we can never fight with our spouses. At the first sign of trouble a true boater is at least halfway to the lake. Of course our friendships are deeper. The surest way to develop male bonding is for two guys to sit in a boat on Lake Monomonac in the pouring rain for 10 hours with the hope of catching a couple of fish. Are we are that much happier in are jobs. Absolutely. Most boaters manage to land jobs that provide an ample number of sick days that can be taken advantage of during the summer months (I’ll deny ever having said that). Of course the numbers indicate we are healthier. Who can afford to be sick with all the lakes and ponds that beckon us? Can there be any doubt that a boater enjoys a better night’s sleep? A great day on the water can really wear you out. As far as our feeling more secure financially, it’s all in one’s perspective. Boaters tend to measure financial success in terms of the boating and fishing gear that we own,not by the amount of money we have. So is the overall quality of our lives really that much better? Absolutely. Did the survey show that a higher percentage of boaters felt that they are above average in intelligence? Funny but I don’t recall seeing that question.

      So what happens when the next study comes out that proves that this one is flawed? A higher percentage of non boaters will claim that the quality of their family live is better. Why? They didn’t use their kid’s college tuition to buy a new bass boat. Perhaps actually knowing what your spouse looks like can strengthen a marriage. A higher percentage will feel better about their jobs since they aren’t constantly looking for a new one because they called in sick too many times. Healthier? Of course! What do you think is going to happen when you sit in the rain for 10 hours? Stronger friendships. Again, sit in the rain for tens hours with your buddy and see what happens. Will a higher percentage of non boaters feel more rested during the day? Probably. How can boaters sleep if we have to get up at 3:00 in the morning to be on the ramp at Nubanusit Lake before anyone else? Financial security? Ha! How much was that boat; $20,000, $30,000? Intelligence? Don’t ask that one. I don’t want to know.

     So until it can be proven otherwise, I will continue to tell myself that the quality of my life is greater, because after all that is what the survey says. Now if I time it right, I can call in sick, hook up my new boat and be halfway to the lake for a great day of fishing before my wife even realizes I’m gone!!

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